Author’s Notes 1st edn (O-Week)

by Callum B. Downes

DMCUB00289Now I urge you, please withhold you’re pretentious judgement of the following statement, I mean don’t get me wrong here, I know it seems like I’m just another white, middle class, University student who’s crying poor and only kick-starting a blog in the desperate, ever fleeting hope that my peers will approve of my intellectual capability and worldliness. You, however, are wrong my dear readers. For you, in your state of ignorance, have totally misjudged my character! I must admit, a little extra cash to upgrade fromSunnyvale’s finest casks to cat piss would not go astray, yet I fervently believe that I have been blessed with material wealth beyond belief and that my parents do in fact, possess a bottomless pit of money.

Plus, after seeing a man, his wife and three kids living in a flooded chicken coup in Cambodia, I’m able to appreciate the change in my pocket. It’s just the fact that sometimes, being young, vivacious and idealistic, means I tend to wish I was some impossibly skilled criminal with an endless supply of money, who can hijack helicopters and carry in excess of 10 separate weapons, including an RPG, at any given point in time. Or CJ off Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas.

I’m sure you can relate to these fantasies. I need to do everything. Go everywhere. Meet everyone. All at the same time. Even if it means sacrificing basic human needs such as food, water, hygiene or dignity. All are disregarded in the student’s pursuit of happiness, although for me, it becomes mostly a pursuit of girls, which is radically more expensive and depressing. Apples and oranges.

I’ll throw you an example in the form of a riveting story. The other day, I decided to go grab a coffee at the brand new Three Chimney’s joint. As I leave my apartment, I am rudely interrupted by God, who decided it would be funny to unzip his celestial fly and take a monsoon on my head the whole way there. Investing in an umbrella on the way crossed my mind. But, instead I deleted that rational thought and saved my precious pennies in the hope that I would be drinking Jimmy Squires Golden Ale at O party that week, rather than Toheeys New. A clutch moment for a beer lover.      

They say youth is wasted on the young, yet it’s only because we are penniless. As hard working, dedicated students, we admit, we are not really poor. Rather, we choose to live like we are poor, in order to keep receiving Centrelink payments.

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